How do I make my friends post more about my wedding on Facebook?

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Dear Missus,

My wedding was 3 months ago and my friends are barely talking about it on Facebook anymore! It was easily the happiest day of their lives- how do I get them to post more about it?

Sincerely,

Laura from Des Moines

 

Dear Laura from Des Moines,

Quel horreur! I consulted with mannerism expert Franny Consuela, and she explained that Facebook posts about the wedding should be consistent for at least a year after your special day. Friends having a hard time adhering to this? Here are some suggestions to get them back on track:

1. Go back through the original pictures posted on your wedding day and be sure to comment on every single one! Make sure to tag your friends and post something that will force them to respond.

2. Hack into your friends’ Facebook accounts! Passwords are usually pet names, or school mascots. You’re a smart girl, you’ll figure it out. Once you’re in, be sure to post at least 3-5 statuses about your wedding!

3. Create fake Facebook profiles of imaginary wedding guests. Send friend requests to all your friends and spam their newsfeed with posts about your special day. Your friends will surely join in!

If all else fails, consider renewing your vows so that your friends have fresh pictures and comments to post!

XOXO,

The Missus